The Epic Adventures of O.P. Hiro
A collab between User:Near_is_god and User:Skeleton_and_Q-16./User:Skeleton11223 Rated PG-No one. ITS JUST A PRANK BRUH (but seriously just a note this is parodying fan fiction cliches as a whole, not any individual piece/writer. So just sit back and laugh cringe.) Playlist: * The National Anthem of the Internet Stanza I: Near_is_god Oh, there once was a hero named O.P. Hiro*, His katana was of the finest vibranium-silver-bronze, His hair of the most golden yellow, And his face was rather mellow. His father Zeushadesposeidonhybridlord was quite godlike, And his mother Brianna was quite Venus-like, And together they created him. His girlfriend had the greatest grading curves, And his enemies were quite the turds, Life was rather happy, Till he met the villain Bappy, Then it fell apart, Like a room after a fart. *O.P. stands for Oswald Phil, and he shall be referred to as Phil for the rest of the epic. Stanza II: Skeleton11223 villain bappy stabbed his girlfriend he wasnt very happy he fought bappy and killed her he thought to himself what would life be like without his bride he took a ride and thought about it he realized it would be better his gf was a control freak he sent a letter to her evil parents the letter exploded he knew it was for the better. Phil continued his journey he entered a tourney to see how skilled he was he killed many people but at the last round he knew he was going down his katana had broke the opponent called him a skilled lad and swung his axe Phil picked up a rock he threw the rock at his opponent the rock grew enormous as of the result crushing his opponent Phil began rushing out of the coliseum with his reward saying bout time as he exited Stanza III: Near_is_god And then came a horde of hellhounds Teeth gnashing and grinding Feet bouncing and pouncing Till Phil killed them all with a sill. His girlfriend walked down the path She had the face of wrath "Oh great Phil, son of Zeushadesposeidonhybridlord, I hateth thee for thy murder of my pater." "So in revenge I kidnapped thy mater!" (pater is father and mater is mother in case you were stupid) "She lieth in the Underworld!" "Guarded by over 9000 super mutant cannibal frost giants!" Phil was quite mad. So he made his gf sad. He spilled a pack of raenbow beans And her control freakness forced her to arrange them all. But wait! Phil thought. Does this mean gf is a vampire? So anyways he parted ways And went towards Hollywood. (Where the Underworld is encase you're supper stupid) Stanza IIII: Skeleton11223 after hours of walking he heard something while walking to the entrance he began to walk faster he went to the underworld and saw a minotaur ogre it said this is my world and its over for you Phil suddenly picked up a lolipop and it transformed into a katana made of silver and gold He fought with the minotaur ogre he saw it fade when he turned around it was right behind him phil stabed his leg and the minotaur ogre punched his stomach phil flew at the wall and decided to beg to be spared the minotaur ogre fell for it phil said its over for you and threw a candy cane which was a bomb Then proceeded to go further in the underworld Stanza IIIII: Near_is_god Phil ran down some underworld stairs and tripped on some coal He realized he was getting closer to his goal But all this running took a toll. So he decided to rest inside a hole. Inside that hole was a foal with a whole scroll Phil was curious as to what the scroll said so he killed the foal and left it for dead Right on the riverbed. Suddenly from out under a bridge comes a troll Who demands that Phil takes a poll. On the existence of the soul So Phil said, "lel you dumb we are in underworld where there are tons of souls you dummy" The troll then cried and ate some gummies. Phil then remembered he had a scroll and then he reddit it said to advance in rank on the Hypixel server he must buy a kit Phil was mad at microtransactions so tp'ed using his teleporting underwear To beat up Hypixel and free the gaming world from microtransactions forever With the aid of Zeushadesposeidonhybridlord he defeated DLC. And then he watched some TLC Which reminded him he needed to go back to the underworld to free his mater. Stanza IIIIII: Skeleton11223 When Phil went back to the under world he saw many monsters after him they circled him and said "its time for din." but then he pulled out a tranquillizer out of nowhere when he put them all to sleep he walked past then he found the last door he opened the door and slipped on the floor there he saw his mater and a monster then Phil said later and tried running for a new weapon but the monster blocked of the entrance with ice it said youre not very nice phil was shot at but used a shield and blocked it then he found spot where there was a torch when he picked the torch up and he threw it in the monsters mouth the monster went to the porch and screamed phil punched the monster and he fell off the porch and phil said "LATER!" when phil got his mater out of ice and he exited the underworld. Stanza IIIIIII: Near_is_god Phil thought the adventure was over Till he picked up a 10 leaf clover It was actually a magical item Created by the satyr Grover To summon an armored titan that would smite him By giving him his flu shot Which Phil would rather not He thought that they caused gout But luckily Phil's vampire gf redeemed herself By taking the shot for phil Phil was not sad She was kinda a jerk But all well. All well.... BUT WAIT perhaps gf wuz not kill? So anyways the giant died due to gravity and phil made an over 9000 meter long katana out of its hair and when he didn't need it It would turn into a chair And now the story is truly almost over One last stanza to go Because really its pretty much done. BUT THEN OUT OF NOWHERE DR. NOTFROMTHISFRANCISE-CHAN-SAN APPEARS WITH HIS WIFE BAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Predictions? VAMPIRE GF IS TOTALLY NOT DEAD YOU GUYS Phil will defeat the evil Dr. Notfromthisfranchise-chan-san and Bappy using the power of friendship! Bad jokes. Why does this story even exist? FINAL STANZA: Skeleton11223 Phil was truly scared of DR. NOTFROMTHISFRANCISE-CHAN-SAN mostly because his bappy had fused with him without any reason at all. he told his mater to run home as he distracted DR. NOTFROMTHISFRANCISE-CHAN-SAN DR. NOTFROMTHISFRANCISE-CHAN-SAN said LATER ALIGATOR and destroyed phils couch/katana Phil then did hand to hand combat and said "come at me bro" DR. NOTFROMTHISFRANCISE-CHAN-SAN was beating him with ease Phil said "Don't kill me, i have a wife and kids spare me please!" DR. NOTFROMTHISFRANCISE-CHAN-SAN was thinking about it as phil said "lel jk you fell for it scrub" he pulled a sword from a pedestal as he said "welcome to die" DR. NOTFROMTHISFRANCISE-CHAN-SAN didn't have a single word phil turned the sword into a glue bottle, no, not just any glue bottle, but a super glue bottle phil shot DR. NOTFROMTHISFRANCISE-CHAN-SAN in the eyes then he rubbed his eyes his hands were stuck due to glue but it wasnt over yet phil glued DR. NOTFROMTHISFRANCISE-CHAN-SAN's feet to the floor he left him to suffer for eternity as super glue is impossible to get off phil then went to the door to get out of where ever he was his mater was outside waiting for him phil then put on some shoes with wings that he had since the beginning but just now decides to use them to fly home his vampire gf shot the wings off and he fell in his house luckily his gf was struck by a random lightning bolt and was killed and they lived happily ever after THE ENDCategory:Near is god Category:Skeleton and Q-16 Category:Collaboration Category:Collab Category:Poetry Category:Crackfic